What Hurts Harry The Most
by LilyHellsing
Summary: Harry ponders over his love after the 6th year...


**Disclaimer: The song "What hurts the most" by Rascal Flatts is not mine, nor is JKs characters.**

_

* * *

___

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house that don't bother me

The Dursleys had once again left to a camping trip without 9 year old Harry Potter. Hugging his knees, he stared out as a storm came and whispered to himself, "Happy Birthday."

_I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out_

While the other Death Eaters reported to Voldemort of the killing of Dumbledore, Snape hid away. Not bothering to make sure he wasn't followed, he looked up at the sky and felt tears slide down his pale face.

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_

Petting Hedwig absent mindedly, Harry stared out the window and frowned. "Where are you…?" His voice was just above a murmur.

_Even though going on with you gone still upsets me_

Returning to Sirius's old house with no one there was bittersweet. Glancing around, he saw a flashback of Severus and Sirius fighting. With angry tears, he slammed his fist into the wall until they bled.

_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok but that's not what gets me_

Hermione looked at her friend worriedly, "Harry? You okay?" Blinking out of his daydream, he put on a false smile and nodded. Not thinking twice about it, she went on talking to Ron.

_What hurts the most was being so close_

"You can't even tell me your past unless I find out about it myself!" 4th year Harry Potter screeched as he stomped his foot like a child. "You never told me about the Dark Mark! I had to find out by seeing you and that teacher in the closet!" Tears blurred his vision as he took off out of Snape's room, not giving him a chance to defend himself.

_And having so much to say_

It was the second month after Dumbledore's death. A black owl dropped off a note that pained Harry greatly. In Severus's handwriting, it read, "I'm sorry, I love you. Wish to say more but can't risk it."

_And watching you walk away_

Falling to his knees in defeat, he watched his older lover walk with the Death Eaters, escaping. "Bastard!" He shouted although it was drowned by the thunder coming.

_And never knowing what could have been_

During class, he listened to the professor cry out, "And look beyond!" Glancing at the foggy crystal balls, he felt his eyes bulge out to see him and Snape older and still in love.

_And not seeing that loving you is what I was tryin' to do_

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go but I'm doin' It_

Harry sat in the bathroom during Potions and stared in the mirror. For a split moment, he swore he saw Severus right behind him. Turning, he saw nothing but air. Rubbing his temples, he grabbed his books and left…

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

Glaring at Malfoy, the raven haired boy quickly walked off. He was in such deep thought that he failed to hear a curse thrown at his back.

_Still Harder getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret_

Snape lay in bed in a hide-out, staring at the dust floating about. Sighing heavily, he closed his eyes and wondered what could have been.

_But I know if I could do it over I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken_

Only in Harry's dreams could he speak to Severus. In those dreams, they kissed and held to each other tightly. Just as Snape was about to say something important, he awoke to the sound of Vernon yelling at him.

_What hurts the most is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

_What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

_Not seeing that loving you that's what I was trying to do_

In Snape's dream, that rare dream that came full of bliss, he sat under a tree while feeding Harry grapes. Leaning forward, smirking that famous smirk, he muttered before kissing him softly, "I love you…"


End file.
